I've been trying to
justify you,
In the end I will just
defy you.

dream theater: as i am


what is a demon?

for centuries, the christian church has been telling us that demons are purely evil, minions of satan, eating souls and little children, and whatnot.

forget all that.

a demon is an entity of chaos. and i have yet to meet satan or any other devil. due to our chaotic nature, you cannot call us good or evil, we are both and none.

my demon side

it is hard to structure demons into types, none will fully fit into a stereotype, most of them will combine several types, and every demon changes during its lifetime.
i consider myself a watcher/familiar.

true form
in my true, or natural form, i'm nothing more than a ball of energy, or "shadow blob", floating around, invisible to most people. although this form has many advantages, it's terribly hard to interact with humans this way.

imp form (interactive form)
think of a gargoyle with four wings, and you have an idea what this form looks like. about 130cm or 4ft3 tall, dark gray, with big purple eyes that can look so very innocent.

shadow form
tall, dark, no visible outlines, red glowing eyes - the purpose of this form is to look intimidating, either for fear feeding or for fighting (or avoiding a fight).

phantom limbs
phantom limbs are recognized by modern science. the term usually refers to limbs that are amputated but can still be felt by the patient.
for otherkin, this symptom is also known, with just one difference: some of us feel limbs that have never been there (at least not during our human lives).

in my case, there are four wings (a bigger pair attached to the shoulderblades, a smaller set at the hips, the latter serving for balance purposes, as i have no tail), long claws at my hands and feet, two little horns, elongated and pointy ears, and longer teeth (which often causes me not to close my jaws).

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